Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Retarded Couples On Facebook.

Guest post by the gorgeous guaranteed-to-crack-you-up blogger Furree, also my adopted (brilliant) kid sister. 

They always catch me by surprise.

There I am, minding my own business, when their romance is shoved up my face.

What romance?

It's a trap created out of a massive web of low IQ, slang and symbols. Their romance, which is quite out of the ordinary - and not in a good way. The romance of...


That's right, folks. There is nothing more disturbing than the immense amount of childish PDA that can be witnessed on some people's timelines and news feeds. The more I 'hide' the posts of these crazy-in-lurve people, the more of them pop up out of nowhere. I'm scared that there's a possibility of an actual Retarded Couple Machine birthing these freaks.

An example:

So apparently the guy doesn't want her to care for him and the girl doesn't want him to care for her but she wants to care for him and then the guy calls her 'madam'. Okay. This relationship is going REALLY well.

That was just the beginning, folks.

I don't... I don't... I DON'T UNDERSTAND

I seriously do not understand why people would be so public about their love lives. Half my friends on Facebook are convinced that I don't even HAVE a love life. This is because I do everyone a favor, and not shower them with unnecessary updates about whatsoever is going on in the romantic front of my life. I mean, apart from the fact that it's nobody else's business, I care about the feelings and sentiments of the intelligent friends I have, who totally condemn this kind of behavior.

Sure, sometimes these couples provide a little entertainment for the onlooker, but when your Facebook news feed is infested with crap like this:

this language... it is so foreign.

You'd rather the earth opens up and swallows them all.


The Girl With The Blue Earring said...


My brain. It will never be the same again.

The Girl With The Blue Earring said...

Also this is precisely why I unsubscribed from EVERYONE on my friend's list. Like literally, everyone. And every page. So now my home screen is a nice white blank page. And I like it that way. If I want to know more about the people I love/care about/whose lives bear at least a slight semblance of normalcy, I go look them up! Simple. Hassle-free. BRAIN- AND INTELLIGENCE-FRIENDLY.

Nina said...

Oh my GOD, hahahaha! OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA. Fantastic post!

Shoaib Rehman said...

Haha nice one.

ultrono said...

Bibi. Hahaha. Bibi

Hanis. said...

Bye bye 10 IQ points.

Daniyal said...

Now I Seek Revenge

Hakuna Matata said...

Err..these people aren't really in your friend list...are they ? :s

Retarded Couple Machine <--- cracked me up :D

Sana said...

This needed to be written!! Also, I have done what the girl with the blue earring has done. :D however I do have PDAs on my timeline still but not as creepy annoying as these ones.. Isstarah ke tow people arent even in my friends list anymore :D
Furree.. I hope these people don't come reading your blog post.. :P


Xeb said...

oh-wow! :/

simply. *wow*

The Me. said...

blogger ate my comment!

Furree Katt said...

LOL. Thank you, guys. *group hug* I appreciate all your comments.

Yes, these people are actually in my friend's list! The girl in the first image, who wrote the emo status, was actually head over heels in lurrrve with my first boyfriend. She did everything to try and steal him from me. She failed (muahaha), and then moved on to the guy who called her 'bb g'. If they find out about this post, good for them, maybe they'll realize what idiots they are being haha. :P

Thanks Maryam, for asking me to write for your blog! ♥

@The Me, Awww I wanna know what your comment wassss. :(

Blahblaholic ♥ © said...

This is hilarious stuff xD
The bb one was weird but okay, the shadap one left me speechless. I don't know what that was about :O
These she's taken kind of people are the same one who have the miserably depressing statuses at the slightest fight. GAH.

I'm pretty sure that retarded couple machine DOES EXIST and churns em out by the dozen every second :/

Brilliant post xD

Maryam A. said...

Shataaap. With three As.

Hilarious post.
Furree, you're epic.