Sunday, June 5, 2011


She opens her eyes slowly, squinting in the dim light.
Her breath rushes in, then out in jagged sounds.
Fear is a living breathing thing inside her.
Something's wrong, very wrong, whispers her mind.
Her heart is pulsing, beating, thrashing its way out of her body, like her whole being is one massive heartbeat.
Her mouth is dry, her tongue sour.
She draws in a lungful of air, wincing as it cuts her sore throat like pieces of serrated glass.
Her senses scramble to make sense of what is happening to her, but her mind refuses to accept it.
She can see it but she won't recognize it.
She closes her eyes fast, as nausea and dizziness make waves inside her, threatening to overtake her consciousness.
She makes a noise; tiny mewling sounds, a new born baby, a tiny kitten.
Things crawling, inside her mind, inside her brain, inside her.
She can't get rid of the fear; the crippling, numbing, paralyzing fear that has her in its choke-hold.
She screams loudly.. In her mind.
Her mouth and throat are blocked, obstructed with a metallic unknown; a production of her own self.
She opens her eyes; darting them wildly, all over.
Something bad is about to happen.
Don't know what or how or why.
This inexplicable feeling. 

Dark. Fear. Metal. Black. 

There's no end in sight.

I really, really, really hope I'm wrong.


Saaleha said...

Wow this is amazing. I swear, your descriptions were so vivid, I felt as if I could actually feel what your objective corelative is feeling. Her emotions are so powerful, the danger/fear/whatever around her is practically palpable.

Maryam said...

Marry me. That is exactly what I was aiming for. THANK YOU.

Ubaid said...


and love is a very small word for this

I think one of your best work ever

Lioness Without A Pride said...

"obstructed with a metallic unknown; a production of her own self."
Like Saaleha said, so very VERY vivid. Beautifully so. I love it.

Eddie said...

wow. Very well written piece. Amazing talent.

ovais said...

Awesome descriptions! :o

Just.. If you made it up out of creativity, it's awesome!

But if there's something going on in your life and you're worried so you made it up, thennn you need to pray :o

Philophobic said...


Maryam said...

UB, Eddie: Thank you! I'm so glad you like it =D

LWAP: I love you.

Ovais: Its a bit of both =P

Philophobic: O_O

Tazeen said...

I hope you were wrong, Maryam. That's a scary feeling.