Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Build.

In some ways, what I'm studying has helped me turn myself into stone. Emotionally.

I am a very, very emotional person. Haha sometimes maybe too much. Others would say I'm dramatic, I exaggerate, etc but what do they know.


So. When we're taking our sessions at the hospital, anything can happen. The client can come up to you and do/say stuff. They can do that with other clients. Or.

They can scream and cry. They can throw themselves on the floor and start hitting and scratching at themselves so much that they start bleeding. They can convulse in seizures and moan like they're dying. They can shout and beg and plead with God, and you can hear the pain in their voice, you can see it on their faces, you can feel it in the very air around them.

It breaks your heart to see human beings doing that to themselves, doesn't it?

Well, apparently. It doesn't. It doesn't affect us that way anymore. We'll spare the client a glance maybe and go about our way. Some of us might even be irritated because said human will be disrupting our other clients which invariably make them hyperventilate, cry, scream, and everything I mentioned above.

I can honestly say I'm disgusted with myself. Fine, so some of them may be faking it or whatever. But really, is this how we're really supposed to react? Which would be not reacting at all?

I don't like this.


Btw - I finally replied to the comments. Yes, that means give me more.

5 comments:

Lioness Without A Pride said...

Oh DEAR.

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

Volunteer Work at the mental asylum or house job? I did two weeks at one,and all we had to to is wipe off saliva,off drooling patents,try to talk to them and give them some gifts etc etc.It's really very very macabre atmosphere there,really.I didn't like this,but no one can say it doesn't affect him/her.It does affect ALOT.
Cheers.

Furree Katt said...

haw :O don't turn into stone, don't :(

Lioness Without A Pride said...

You know, it's like somebody working at Burger King. The first week or so you steal a few fries everyday, because you're so amazed at seeing SO. MANY. FRIES. and you want to deal with the situation as best as you can. But then slowly you start getting used to it. I mean, they're just fries. For you, it's everyday life. But for the customer it's MAGICAL AMAZING BURGER KING FRIES.
That doesn't mean you hate your job. I mean, you're making a difference by making fries that feed hungry people. But you just don't like them any more.

My word verification thing - whines.
I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING.
I love you. *hugs tight*

Tauqeer said...

I second Hamza.