Friday, February 18, 2011

I'm Running Out of Titles.

So, FINALLY exams are over with. I actually had fun giving them, except for the writing part. I HATE WRITING and we had like 9-10 questions for each paper -_-

My viva was really funny. The examiner asked me about Elimination Disorders (click on it for the link). There were about 5 people sitting there for the exam. Two sirs of mine, including the Head of Department, two teachers and the external examiner.

Her: So what are Elim. Dis.?


Me: It has two types, Enuresis and Encopresis.


Her: Okay. So what happens in them?


Me: ...oh shit. What do I say? Urine? Shit? Crap? Potty? OH MY GOD HOW DO I SAY THIS. Err. The... urine leaks? And the... um.... *pause*... the stool, too?


Her: The what?!


Me: The... stool?


Her *trying to suppress laughter* Yes?


Me: Well, it leaks. Where its not supposed to. At night and in the day, in any inappropriate situation. Even after toilet training has been implemented.


Her: How would you treat it?


Me: I've never had such a case.


Her: That doesn't matter, bachay. Hypothetically.


Me: shit, crap, potty.

And the rest went okay. No, really it did. STOP with those cynical looks already, I wasn't that bad for the rest of it. 

10 comments:

Aseela Haque said...

"I've never had such a case."

HAHAHAHAHA MARYAM YOU ARE AWESOME.

LionessWithoutAPride said...

SO AWESOME YOUR VIVA IS!

I am now going to share with you how my one and only viva for this year went.

So. The practical paper was amazing, because we all knew what to expect (sort of). I took extra time and extra paper and everything, but the external didn't say a thing! Then we got a half-hour to go through our records; the external TOLD US that she'd ask us questions only from our respective projects. So I was all OHHNOOHNOOHNO but at the same time calm-calm-calm. My roll number is 16, so I had even more time. I asked all the people who went before me how it was going, and they said that she 'talked a lot'. When I heard that, I metaphorically licked my lips. Because REALLY, TALKING is my THING in life. So when my name was called, I sauntered in happily and gave her a big smile and a "Good
Afternoon, Miss!" and she also smiled and checked the name list and said "Hmm. Shrija." Then she asked me "What do you want to do?" AND INWARDLY I WAS JUMPING FOR JOY as I began to tell her how I'd only recently found out about an amazing college in Mumbai that had a BA program where I could do Eco+Eng+Psych or any other such combination. In many, many more words than that. And then she asked me "Oh, you're interested in Economics?" and I said "Yeah, I find it really interesting". And I smiled. And she smiled. And she said "Ok, you're saying you're not too keen on Accounts, (I hadn't actually said that in so many words, that was plain conjecture on her part) but what are the ratios you'd employ while assessing the financial position of a company?" I KNEW THIS ANSWER! I TOLD HER EVERYTHING! AND SHE JUST ASKED ME ONE SINGLE QUESTION MORE AND THEN SAID "Very good. Excellent. Good luck, ma." AND LET ME GO! IT WAS SO AMAZING!!! ONLY TWO QUESTIONS! BOTH OF WHICH I KNEW THE ANSWERS TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bottom line - my exams are bogus. My viva is bogus. It's all about cracking the examiner/question paper. That's all.

MagicalMe said...

"shit, crap, potty."

Hahhahaha. I LOVE THIS LINEEE OF YOURSSS. :D

Maryam said...

Aseela: I was SO lame, I cringe =(

Lioness: My exams are so tough, we have mental breakdowns and can't complete the course in the prep leave. My viva is always so bloody tough. They always ask me questions I don't know the answer to. But apparently, they like my random answers otherwise I wouldn't be where I am and Here I Am. Getit, getit? Haha, Shut me up PLEASE.

MM: Hahaha, I couldn't figure out how to say 'potty' or 'pee' (translate that in Urdu =P) in English. It was really funny.

uglyduckling91 said...

YOU'RE A NERD.

Maryam said...

=(

But.

LionessWithoutAPride said...

YOU MADE A PUN. MARYAM. I AM WORRYING FOR YOUR SANITY RIGHT NOW.

Roshni said...

haha funny shit ...(pun intended)

Eeshie said...

YOUR BLOG IS AWESOME BEANS!

Maryam said...

Lioness: Me too, me too =(

Roshni: =D

Eeshie: Thank you so much! Er.. Beans?