Tuesday, April 28, 2009


She's here. She's one of those people who... Touch. Oh God. She touches and touches and squeezes and slaps AND I F-ING HATE BEING TOUCHED! Mein KYA KARUN?! On the plus side... Okay there IS no plus side. Can someone plan with my parents in advance and kidnap me? PLEASEIBEGYOU! And Yawar. I really don't care if she gets wind of this. She should know that touching girls is NOT. OKAY. That said - HELP.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Dunya Na Maanay Khasman Nu Khaye

Everyone has writer's block. Including yours truly.
Cheap Indian ganay suno, bara maza aye ga. Can't guarantee the creative flow, though =P

Khyaal bhi jaanay kya kya
Sochta rehta hai ga uff
Ke nochta rehta hai ga

I STILL love Masakali

Ae masakali, masakali
Hun matak kali, matak kali
Ae masakali, masakali
Hun matak kali matak kali
Zara pankh jhatak gai
Dhool atak aur lachak machak ke duur bhatak
Hun laga reh laha reh qasbay koochay nu
Kar basti mein yeah yeah
na na na na na na
Kar le poori dil ki tamanna


Sunday, April 26, 2009



Stunning, BEAUTIFUL pictures!
Must see.
REALLY must.


Meray taya boht achay hain. Wo London se aye hain, London se. Walayt mein hota hai. London. Wah jee wah. Mujhe ye mila:

Anushay, ye sirf tumhare liye =)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

My Life is HELL.

There is a certain cousin I have, whom everyone in my family, with the exception of my grandma DETESTS. She spreads lies about me, my mom, me, my sister, me ... Oh, have I mentioned me? Lying is a habit she has, one that she feeds well. She is also malicious and looks for every excuse, EVERY excuse to make us look bad in front of the rest of my extended family, and her a long-suffering martyr. You know, those small-minded, gossipy, catty, I-mean-you-harm sorta women? That's her to a tee.

She is, very possibly, coming over to stay at our place. Maybe, for a whole month. OMGWTFWTHIWILLDIE!!!

Yeah, so dispensing with that.... WHAT THE HELL WILL I DO?!!! I can't STAND her, she's horrible and I have no patience for people who stick their noses in my personal stuff - another well-practised habit of hers. I can't stand her, I really can't. But I'll have to pretend. And cater to her every need and every little wish and act like her own personal maid-servant (yeah, I'm gonna do that 8-)) because of a certain grandma who lives with us. Oh, and this cousin's dad hates my guts. Because I'm a spoilt little bitch who wears JEANS of all things OMG!!! *gasp* *gasp* *faint*

Most probably, no Internet unless she's asleep, no SMS-ing (which I can't live without), no calls, no going out with friends cause I'm a kharaab larki if I do that. I have no problem being one, but my parents do have a problem with her spreading stuff like that about me. I'm sure it sounds as if I'm exaggerating and over-dramatizing but I can swear, that woman is a threat to my mental health.

I don't know what to do. I'm extremely independent, and extremely private. I hate people poking in my stuff, tangible as well as not. What will I do??!!!

P.S. Can I bunk at someone's place till the horror in my house goes away? I'm saying please. Really.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Think I Love to Complain.

Its so hot. I hate the weather, its horrible.

My classes are really boring. Seriously. The teachers, I'm sure, try their best to get us to fall asleep in class and then bring out the guns. Dhishoom Dhishoom!

I already have three assignments. Gah.

AND I just found out, they're not letting us apply for MFIL after our Honors. They told us we didn't have to go through Masters, we could apply staright for MFIL, KYA BAKWAS HAI! Why do the rules change every time its OUR turn?!

Oh btw, if anyone is interested in photo-editing this site is LOVE.

Picasa just got stuck and now nothing works except blogger =S

There is NO ONE online I can talk to and I'm miserably bored.

Facebook is very boring now.

I want bhindi with lots of pyaaz. Or some really good cold coffee.

Sid's sour-cream-lava-brownie cake tastes like dry fur. Disgusting, I tell you. Lekin bunties walay muffins boht mazay ke thay.

Thank GOD its Friday tomorrow. No testing ki class.

OH, OH and... I, apparently, have an I.Q. of 152.
*cackles with laughter*

Otis boy, your test is so not valid or reliable. Yeah.

Moosa love kissed me more today *beams* awww, pyara baby.

Uni was fun today. Besides classes, that is. After a long, long, looooong time... It was good. I had fun.


Wednesday, April 22, 2009


There's so much that you still don't know. And too much that I do. Keep trying to find out, I like it =)

Ye Title Likhna Zaruri Hota Hai?

Mujhe khaufnaak kism ki bhook lagi hai. Khanay ki, btw. To clarify for SOME people. Mama aur baba uth he nai rahay pata nai kya ho gya hai in ko aj. My brother is hulking around the house looking all emo and sullen and refusing to string words together to make a sentence. He prefers monosyllables. So cool. My sister is rushing around the whole house trying to get her considerable stuff together and be ready on time and as usual, failing spectacularly. 

I wandered into the room my sister and I share and,

"Meri Rape of the Lock dekhi hai?" (her)


"OMG kidr chali gai hai!!!!!!"

Running here and there with me staring after her. 

"Er. Did you get up late?" (me)

*horrible glare* "YES. Why he hell do you THINK I'm running around the house?!"

*pause and uncertain stare* "Bee-causeee that'swhatyousuallydo?"

Yes, I said that just as fast, cause she scares me in the mornings. Even though I'm older. Hmph. But anyway. 

"Why didn't you get up when I did? You woke up when my alarm rang" (me)
*more horrible glare* "Beacuse - duh- I went back to sleep again"
*looking at Maryam like Maryam's a moron and she's the one who goes back to sleep even AFTER waking up*


Oooh chaye! No wait, no chaye. Milk, finished, bread, finished, eggs - SO MAAANNNYY 0_0.

I'm eating the bunties wala muffin my sister made last night. Yeah, bunties. Chocolate chips milay nai thay xD

I haven't done any of my Stats or Psychopathology revision and since yesterday was my first day back...oh yes. Very much bisti today. 

Thank God. They left for school, both the scary alien beings I'm forced to call my siblings. Light gonna go in about 20 mins so...yep, signing off.


Monday, April 20, 2009

Dreams... Or More.

She sat kneeling in the grass, her eyes slightly blurred and focused on dreams only she could see. Her hands tended to the blooming flowers she'd planted herself, which she held closer to her heart than most or maybe even all, else. The grass in her little garden sparkled and shimmered with tiny, crystal drops of morning dew. Turning her face up to the sun, she let its warmth cascade over her and fill the tiny, cold corners in her heart; feeling the light breeze, soft as a wish, gentle as a kiss. Closing her eyes, she hummed along to music that played for her ears alone.

Sighing poignantly, as if still caught in her own little dream-world, she slowly opened her eyes - and saw two curious little brown ones peeking at her, from among her rosebushes. The woman's face and eyes smiled a welcome and a pixie-ish little face emerged, attached to the brown eyes. The owner of the face and eyes smiled shyly and back and wandered over hesitantly. 

Soundlessly, she sat beside the ethereally beautiful and strangely serene woman, watching her with wide, fascinated eyes. The woman lifted up a cupped hand and a vibrantly colored butterfly landed on it. She stroked the delicate blue of the wings, the child looking on with an enraptured expression. 

"They never come this close to me". Somehow, in this magical place, it seemed right that the child speak in a whisper.

The woman looked at the child, tenderness in her expression, and moved the hand cupping the butterfly towards her. The child's smile shone out like a startling beam of sunlight. 

"Is this Heaven?"

The woman only smiled in response.

The butterfly flew away to dance to the unearthly, whispery music of the wind. 

"Please, can I stay here forever?"

The woman cupped the tiny face in her hands and kissed the tip of the nose gently. 

"This is wherever you want it to be, little faerie. Stay, for as long as your heart desires. This place and all in it belongs to you".

Somehow, the softly musical voice seemed to echo around the angelic little garden. 

The child climbed into the woman's lap, trusting with her whole body.

Her little voice quavered as she spoke, 

"Are you my mother? My daddy told me she died and became an angel and that she can see me from the sky and I can dream about her whenever I want. Are you?"

The woman pressed her lips to the child's soft, soft hair, her heart breaking a little as she sensed the sadness emanating from the little girl's little body, and her brave, so brave little voice.

In answer she only whispered,

"Believe what your heart wants you to. Dream a little. Live in the dream."

Sunday, April 19, 2009

So, I'm a Cynic.

Sid, while telling me about this INCREDIBLY romantic ( read sappy) poem that she was doing with her Literature class,

"...and M was going all 'awwww' about every 2 minutes. I seriously thought she was going to cry but she kept giving these...sappy smiles. The poem was so, so, SO...I have no other word for it.. SAPPY! It was horrible."

Then, she proceeds to tell me the story which makes my mouth drop open. I understood why she felt so revolted, since it was about the MUSHIEST thing anyone could ever have written, and I do NOT mean that in a good way. She was going on about the horror she had to suffer through (yeah, we tend to exaggerate), and then:

Me: That was you. Imagine what it would have been like for ME. Compared to me you're...sappy!

Sid: *pause* you know, you're right. You'd have shuddered with loathing and dislike in your every pore, torn up the poem in bits and pieces, balled it up, thrown it in front of the class and stomped out of the room. Everybody would have been staring at you and thinking, *what's with HER?!*

Me: *stares* I'm not that bad.

Sid: *snorts with laughter* yeah RIGHT you're not. You're the biggest cynic I have EVER met.

Me: *silence*

...my brother just wandered in, wearing Axe:Shock. Oh God, oh God, NOSE CANDY!
*breathes it all in*


Do you believe in magic?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

A Whole New World

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when
Did you last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Show you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Now I'm in a whole new world with you...

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
Its crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me...

Yeah, I'm sorta, kinda obsessed =)


I love, Love, LOVE this song. Our singing teacher taught this to us back in grade...6, I think? Anyway, its really beautiful - and from one of my favorite movies. Do listen.

Friday, April 17, 2009


So, I have cravings.


Mama asked me to make achaar gosht, which is sorta my specialty. I told her I'd manage quite nicely without her help, thank you very much. She actually snorted with laughter. I stared and then putting my nose in the air, flounced off to the kitchen. I WAS managing quite nicely till I got out the yogurt. Now, the yogurt was the desi type and came packed tightly in a plastic shopping bag. Having dealt with such annoying knots quite well previously, I gave no thought to this one...

...and ten minutes later I was glaring at it, panting and red in the face with the effort. And the annoying, previously-quite-well-dealt-with knot just would NOT be quietly dealt with. I wrestled, I tugged, I screamed and swung it around and around and stomped and...

...okay, fine. I didn't. Not quite, anyway. Lol. It DID frustrate me for about 6 minutes and then I just decided to go at it with the knife. I made a nice, sweet, tiny puncture at the side and with difficulty, measured out two cups. I was pouring the remainder into another bowl when it decided to be dheet and started squishing and swirling and sticking to the plastic. I, Ze Efficient, squeezed it and...

...PHHHHUUUURRRRRRRR!!!! Dahi ALL OVER the counter, the wet, newly washed glasses, the achari masala, the bottles, and anything else within the vicinity. 

But I, Ze Efficient, was quick enough to clean it before Mama came in =P

GOD, it smells good. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Light and Shadow and Love.

She walked with him, her hand in his. Listening, just listening to the melody in his voice as he spoke to her. She let go of his hand and spun around in front of him,

"Tell me a story, one with love and heart and hope. Make me want, and wish, and then sigh when it ends. Make it come alive for me" she demanded.

He smiled at the passion her lithe form vibrated with, the one that made the beauty in her eyes become a thing alive.

"Alright then, my precious. Listen, and want, and wish."

"There lived a faerie queen, who could only come out from her palace at night, when there was moonlight to guide her steps. For even faeries can have spells cast on them, and she was cursed to take the form of a white bird during the day. 
One night, when the sky was a wild, living, breathing thing, she wandered out into the forbidding structures of the cliffs - and found a lone, wounded black wolf at the base of them. He had eyes of emerald green that watched her warily, but her heart couldn't resist and she walked over to him. She tended him, her art and her skill she used to heal his hurts. 
From that night, he became her companion, walking the hills and the cliffs with her, night after night after night; until as dawn shimmered over the sea, she left him with a flutter of white wings, and a sorrowful call that came from her broken heart."

He paused and she turned to him. 

"Was there no way to break the spell?"

"Oh, there's always a way, isn't there?" He lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. then drew her along toward the cliff path, where the sea began to roar and the wind fly. Moonlight splattered on the high, wild grass, and the path cut between it, turned pebbles into silver coins and weathered stone into hunched elves. She let him guide her up the path, waiting impatiently for him to resume. 

"One morning, a young man was hunting in the fields, for he had nothing but his determination and quiver of arrows and his bow to feed him. The hunger gnawed at him. Game had been scarce for days and he was all but consumed with the hunger inside him. It was then that he saw the white board soaring in the sky, and thinking only of his belly, notched the arrow in his bow and brought her down."

She gasped, stopping short. "But he can't have killed her!"

"I've not finished yet, have I?". He turned to pull her up and then held her a moment, just held her as she fit so well against him. 

"She let out a cry, filled with pain and despair that ripped at his heart, even as his head reeled from lack of food. He ran to her and found her watching him, eyes as silvery-blue as moonlight pooling on the surface of the sea. His hands trembled, as they were eyes he knew, and he began to understand. Though he was half-starved, he did what he could to heal the wound he'd made and took her to the shelter of the cliffs. Building a fire, he sat guarding her and waited for sunset."

He turned her and held her, her back against his chest, so they looked out at the dark sea together. Water rolled back, then in, then again, in a rhythm constant, primitive, sexual. She leaned back against him. "What happened next?"

"What happened was this. As the sun dipped, and night reached out for day, she began to change, as did he. So woman became bird and man wolf, and for one instant they reached for each other. But hand passed through hand, and the change was complete. So it went through the night, with her too feverish and weak to heal herself. And the wolf never left her side, but stayed to warm her with his body and guard her with his life if need be."

"Are you cold?" he asked, as she shivered. 
"No. Touched." she whispered back. 

"There's more yet. Night passed into day again, and again day into night, and each time they had only that instant to reach for each other and be denied. He never left her side to eat, as man or as wolf, and so was near to dying himself. Sensing it, she used what power she had left to strengthen him, to save him rather than herself. For the love she felt for him meant more than her life. Once again dawn shimmered in the sky, and the change began. Once again they reached for each other, knowing it was hopeless, and her knowing she would never see another sunrise. But this time, the sacrifice they'd both made was rewarded. Hands met, fingers clasped, and they looked on each other, finally, man to woman, woman to man. And the first words they spoke were of love."

She turned and smiled, her mouth against his as she whispered, 

"Better. He who had been a king in his own right of a far-off land took his faerie queen to wife. Never did they spend a single sunset or a single sunrise apart for the rest of their days."

"That was lovely." She laid her head on his shoulder and turned into him. "And so is this."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


A very non-romantic jaahil:

"...see, I can hold hands with him, and even let him hug me. Lekin when it comes to saying something romantic, I sound like... I dunno.. a mountain troll trying to quote shakespeare.."


Haye Meri Jaan!

He gave me this when I was feeling low:

This kid lights up my world. <3

Tears of the Moon.

When I'm alone in the night,
And the moon sheds its tears,
I know my world would come right,
If only you were here.
Without you, my heart is empty of all,
But the memories it keeps,
You, only you, stay inside me in the night,
While the moon weeps.

- Tears of the Moon

Monday, April 13, 2009


Mid-terms finished today. I'll probably have my finals in June *rolls eyes* 
Kya bakwas hai. I has no life whatsoever?

Sunday, April 12, 2009


I should have more people following my blog.
*hint hint*
Oh yes, I'm shameless =)

The D.

I'm generally not a mushy/sappy/"awww" kinda person but Disney turns me into a mush ball. I'm a SUCKER for Disney animated movies, they're so idealistically beautiful! The characters, the stories, the setting, dialogues, soundtracks, everything!
Disney corrupts children's minds, total commercialism, blah blah. Don't care. I still love them. I think they're still the best stories you could read to kids or go to bed with at night yourself. What's the harm in dreaming a little? And as far as I'm concerned, they're the absolute BEST thing to watch with your family together. Its so much fun when you're laughing with your parents and siblings and you're just RIGHT THERE with the characters.

Even when you watch them all grown up, they don't lose their charm. Its so nostalgic watching all those movies on cable that were exclusively on video cassettes at one time, and we used to BEG for those. Used to rent them out in fives and tens too =P

*happy sigh* I just love them. They're so happy.

Okay, this is not a Disney movie, but its one of my absolute FAVORITES -

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Would it?

If I could show you just how much you mean to me...
Your world
As you know it
Would come to an end.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

A Letter Of Historic Importance.

Akhil Chandra Sen wrote this letter to the Sahibganj Divisional Railway Office in 1909. It is on display at the Railway Museum in New Delhi. It was also reproduced under the caption "Traveler's Tales" in the Far Eastern Economic Review.

"I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station and
my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit. I am therefore
went to privy. Just I doing the nuisance that guard making
whistle blow for train to go off and I am running with lotah
in one hand and dhoti in the next when I am fall over and
expose all my shocking to man and female women on platform.
I am got leaved at Ahmedpur station.
This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that dam
guard not wait train five minutes for him. I am therefore
pray your honor to make big fine on that guard for public
sake. Otherwise I am making big report to papers." 

Any guesses why this letter was of historic value?
It apparently led to the introduction of toilets in trains.

Istatistics 2.

It did not go well. Not well at all.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


I AM GOING TO KEEL THE STATS TEACHER. SHE TEACH US WRONG FORMULAE. I SHALL KEEL HER. Tomorrow is my Statistics mid-term. And no joke, she actually teaches the wrong formulas. Usually, she corrects them 2 days before our mids but this time, distracted with her shaadi and all, she probably forgot that she taught us wrong - again. And one question takes about half an hour to a full hour to solve. What am I going to doooo!!! Ah well. Allah Miyan meri madad karein ge. Inshallah.


Cheer up, woman. Here, donut 4 u ^-^

Sunday, April 5, 2009


I was thinking of writing you a big, sappy birthday post but I came up with nil. All I COULD remember was us dancing crazily at the bonfire, laughing like idiots almost every time we talk and when we meet up...well. Embarrassing for the people watching us, ESPECIALLY my sister =D.

I remember how when either of were low, and this is what happened almost every single time, the other would come online and just say "i love you!" or send a kissy emotican. And then we'd talk and talk and talk and you know that...glow you get? From being with people who make you feel better just by BEING there? That'd happen. And everything bad that had happened would just...take a backseat and not exist for a while. We make each other feel better, really.

I remember laughing at each other's English/grammar mistakes (although that's actually ME laughing at YOU but I'm trying to be nice here =P) and correcting then making fun of each other every single chance we get. In the most bistofying way possible.

I remember how GAY we get and how hilarious it is when people literally think we ARE that way.

I remember how we set our fb statuses to "married" and added each other's names LOL. People in your school actually came up to you and were all like "Oh, you and Maryam R are married right?"

I remember us hating each other with a vengeance when one was annoying or irritating and just generally happy when the other was not. I remember how we didn't talk for the longest time and were the biggest saps after that.

I remember how polite and sweet we used to be to each other in the start, when my sister introduced us, and how barely a week or two later we were all "bitch!" "ho'!" - pyar se, obviously =P

I remember when I introduced you to blogging and you worshipped me hahahahaha.

And I absolutely LOVE how we have tags for each other and actually post the shittiest stuff we say on our blogs and then tag those with the other's names *big, sappy grin*

I'm going to sound really stupid and gay and sappy but you'll know. That this is special because I'm usually not this way. I know I'm missing out on a LOT of other stuff and this is just skimming over it. I also know I'll prolly regret this in a day or two hahaha =D

I love you. Even when I hate you and you're an annoying bitch, you're one of my 'persons'. Best wishes, always.



Okay I sign in to my MSN and see that Anushay's online. I immediately open the chat window and type in:

Maryam says:
i love you!

And AS SOON AS I pressed "Enter",

Anushay. says:
i love u sooooooooooooooo much

Matlab ke we wrote the same thing at the same time and even though we realize its gay or maybe because of it, its awesome soshutupyeah? =D

The rest:

Maryam says:

Anushay. says:

Maryam says:

Anushay. says:
hum PAGAL hein

Maryam says:
qasam se!

And just now?

Anushay. says:
ok i don't know how to blog about
Anushay. says:
internet chats
Anushay. says:
bt i did anyway


Maryam says:

Anushay. says:
Anushay. says:
hum kitnay
Anushay. says:
uyou know
Anushay. says:
coupled hein
Anushay. says:
Anushay. says:

Yeah, so we're blogging about the same thing at the same time =P

Prep Leave.

My first exam is day after. And this has been my prep throughout the 7 days of prep leave. I study vary hard, no?

Saturday, April 4, 2009


I hate this feeling. Trapped rage, loneliness, depression, despair. Helpless, hopeless because being a 'good girl' from a 'shareef ghar', remaining quiet and ignoring insults, jeers and total badtamizi is all I can do. All I'm supposed to do. And if I don't, haye ALLAH! I'm such a KHARAB larki!

Sometimes? I wish I were. A kharab larki.

Friday, April 3, 2009

At Last.

"Perhaps he sensed her. She liked to think so. He stepped out of the open doorway as she ran up to him. He caught her, held her close and tight and inches off the ground. And thought: There you are. Finally. There you are.''

Calling All Ladies!

For all you ladies out there, this is a FABULOUS website/blog/forum. Whatever. Check it out.

Men, please keep all sneering, jeering insults to yourself, yeah? 



Yayzers! I can post from my phone yo! Finally.

No more internet dependence! Bless you, blogger walay log.

Straw Berry Wala Cheese Wala Cake.

Rahat strawberry cheesecake bana rai hai. Meine be khana hai ='(

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Lucky Me.

I'm all dressed and ready to go to N's mehndi. Aur baarish shuro ho gai hai. My luck astounds me.

B's gonna be there too. Lets see what happens =)